Guildmate in WAR: The hell, you got MORE coffee? What, do you live off that shit?
Me: Uh, duh.

Friend: Why would she hate you when she gets back?
Me: Cause I'll prolly be playing Dungeons & Dragons Online since it's going free to play... which is a 3d20 + 40 Nerd roll.

Friend (On the subject of anime): See, I can't understand how you can stand to watch that shit.
Me: I've been conditioned due to years of lifelessness and thus can stand to watch it even if I hate it so much.

Me (On the subject of Warhammer: Age of Reckoning): What the fuck?! Bright Wizards get a Rank 2 Morale at 35 that lets them stun everything around their target in a 30ft radius for five fucking seconds? THE FUCK IS THIS OP BULLSHIT?! THEY CAN WIPE MY ENTIRE WARBAND BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS HAVE THREE KNIGHTS OF THE BLAZING SUN AND TWO WARRIOR PRIESTS FOLLOWING THEM THE COCKBAG SCOUNDRELS!

Guildmate in WAR (On vent): Yeah, I respeced my Chosen with the advice <Name Removed> gave me, it's workin' pretty well.
Me: Has anyone ever told you that you sound just like Robert Downey Jr.? I only noticed that because I was watching Armageddon not two days ago....

Me: Yeah, I can't stand my Chosen right now because he's gimped as hell.
Guildmate in WAR: What do you mean?
Me: He's rank 32 renown rank fuckin' 20.
Guildmate in WAR: How did that happen?
Me: Fuckin' <Name Removed> told me to focus on leveling instead of RvR... it's all his fault I'm gimped. Bastich.
<Name Removed>: Hey, don't blame me, you're the one that did it.
Me: I'm never taking your advice again, haha.

Me: Yeah, I found out Bright Wizards and Warrior Priests are still ridiculously overpowered and unfair.
Friend: Ouch.
Me: So I rolled a Bright Wizard and a Warrior Priest.

Me: Dude, what the fuck man. This Bright Wizard is hitting truckloads harder than my Sorceress did.
Friend in WAR: That's because you're playing the godchild of Mythic, my friend.

Me: Yeah dude, Section 8 isn't all that bad despite the low expectations I had for it.
Friend: You say that now.
Me (Later): THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT WITH THIS MOTHER FUCKER NOT DYING EVEN THOUGH I JUST SHOT HIM THE FUCK UP AGGGGH! THAT FUCKNUTS ON MY TEAM JUST JACKED MY <NDA prohibits me from saying> AND GOT ME KICKED FOR FRIENDLY FIRE CAUSE HE RAN IT INTO AN ENEMY WHILE I WAS SHOOTING <NDA prohibits me from saying> FROM THE <NDA prohibits me from saying>, FUUUUUUUCK!

Me: Hey dude, Dark Messiah of Might & Magic is on sale for $5, I'm gonna buy it. Want to play with me?
Friend: I have no money and even if I did, I wouldn't pay for that.
Me: No, fucknuts, I'm buying it for you. In other words, I'm making you play the multiplayer with me.
Friend and I after 20 minutes of trying the multiplayer: What is this bullshit? This fucking sucks.

Me: Hey man, we're about to go raid Altdorf. We have about eight Destruction warbands going right now.
Friend: Cool.
Me (Later): Yeah, uh, so we got to the Forts and about 300 Order players showed up... And there were at least 230 Bright Wizards....

Me: Aw man this sucks.
Friend: What?
Me: They nerfed heroes in the beta patch for Warhammer 40k Dawn of War 2, so now my Warboss can't take on an entire army by himself anymore. Now it's not fun to run around screaming random things with a gruff, British accent.

And these are just a few of the nerdy things that have happened to me lately.